More Funny Quotes From Ireland


Spike Milligan

‘A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.’

‘How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.’

‘All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.’

‘Money can’t buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.’

Spike Milligan

‘In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol – it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.’

‘I spent a lot of good money on drink, women and cars. The rest I just squandered’

George Best

‘Money does not make you happy but it quiets the nerves.’

Sean O’Casey

‘The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad. For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad.’

G.K. Chesterton

‘I have my faults, but changing my tune is not one of them.’

Samuel Beckett

‘When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night,
A pint of plain is your only man.’

‘Anybody who has the courage to raise his eyes and look sanely at the awful human condition… must realize finally that tiny periods of temporary release from intolerable suffering is the most that any individual has the right to expect.’

‘In Boston he met a pretty lady, fat and forty, but beautiful with the bloom of cash and collateral.’

Flann O’Brien

‘Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.’

‘I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn’t make it worse.’

Brendan Behan

Spike Milligan

‘Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.’

‘If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.’

‘Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.’

‘If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.’

George Bernard Shaw

For more Quotes see 21 Funny Quotes ABout Ireland

Also: Funny Irish Road-Signs

About the author

Michael Green Michael Green is Manager of The Information about Ireland Site

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